Fili (_secret_fire_) wrote in aanr_lj,
Fili
_secret_fire_
aanr_lj



| Part 1 | Part 2 |

[EDIT: About half of the pictures here are currently down (for me, anyways). Photobucket is kind of dead as of now, so maybe try again later or refresh like mad. -May 20, 4:30pm.]


RECAP!

Kelly broke up with Adam because she thought he was unfaithful.


Al invited the guest over so that they could "talk things out".


Julie fell in love with the fire-fighter.


Yana was abducted by aliens.


Ben went on the date of his life.


But it turns out it was with Judy Jo, and she's working for Lord Xenu.


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"She WHAT!?" screamed Ben.
"Yes. Joanna's actually an alien named Judy Jo," replied Daniel. "Wasn't there anything weird about the date?"
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"Well," replied Ben, "she did have a forked-tongue and didn't blink at all. That was just a little weird now that I think about it."
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"Yeah," said Daniel. "Just a little."
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"But don't you read milk cartons?" asked Daniel. "I mean, her face is everywhere."
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"Are you kidding!" said Ben. "With this flawless complexion, I can't have dairy!"
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"Well, she doesn't know we know," said Daniel. "So when you see her, just act cool."


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"Ugh, you think it would be easy to find some nice drapes somewhere in this planet of moderate climate," exclaimed Lord Xenu.
"This Dell is a piece of shit. Is this the best I could do?"
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"Ughh. What's that girl doing to that horse??" said Lord Xenu.
"*Ahem*" said Judy Jo. "You called?"
"Oh yes yes," said Lord Xenu.
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"For your next mission," he said, "you must find Christians who are so out there that they make Scientology look like a good alternative."
"No, seriously," he stressed. "I need wack-job Christians."
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"I know just who you're looking for!" said Judy Jo.


"This is Siri," she said. "I met him when he was showing some "miraculous" X-rays to a bunch of pigeons in the park."
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"This is Jarad Christian," she said. "I found him on the subway telling people how he used to be in a gang, and killed people. But now that he found Jesus, so it's all taken care of!"
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"Oh MAN!" said Lord Xenu. "You've really outdone yourself, Judy."
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"From now on," he said, " this will be your eternal skin. And you three shall be known as 'The Three.'"
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"So we're like the Trinity??" asked Siri.
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"Ugh, don't be ridiculous," said Lord Xenu.
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"I may have been made up by a science fiction writer. But even I think that saying that 'three different people are one' is just complete and utter bullshit."
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"I mean, even I draw the line somewhere."
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"Okay," said Daniel. "Go talk to Kelly. The goal is NOT to rush things."
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"Oh," said Rich. "So I just shouldn't take off my clothes all at once? Hum."
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"Hey, Kelly," said Daniel. "I heard Rich is looking for you. I think he said he has a surprise."
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"Surprise?" said Kelly. "I love surprises."
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"Hey Richard," she said. "I heard you wanted to talk to me."
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SWEET TALK SWEET TALK SWEET TALK SWEET TALK

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"Oh Richard. I'm glad I got to know you better. I especially like how you refer to my boobs as 'b00bz.'"
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"Hum," said Adam. "I wonder why Daniel asked me to come into this room that I've never been into."
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"What the....."
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"OH MY GOD!"
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"I just can't watch... I ... Oh..."
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"I can't believe what I've just seen. Kelly.... and Richard?? oh....I just feel like....."
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"Oh crap," he said. "Not again!"
"Oh no!" said Julie. "I guess I'm going to have to call the firefighter that came in the other day!"
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"It's alright, Julia," he said.'
"Oh, it's Juli... never mind. Thank you."
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"Oh and the way you handled the fire was just so manly and rough"
"It's nothing really," he said. "I really do love the fire. A lot."
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"Yes," he added. "A lot."
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"So, he likes to play with fire," said the obviously desperate Julie.
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"OHHH YEAH OOHHH YEAHHHH!!!!" exclaimed Rich.
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"Is he ever going to shut the fuck UP"? said Adam.
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"I need to forget about Kelly," said Adam. "Some rebound action looks good by now."
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"Hey! What's up!??"
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"So Ginger, I've been thinking about you a lot lately," he said. "And I really think that you look familiar for some reason."
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"Well," Ginger said. "The answer to that just happens to be here in my hand."
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"I used to be very famous and very rich," Ginger said. "But one day fame and the STDs just got to me. I divorced my husband and ran away."
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"You used to be a Spice (Rack) Gal!" Adam said. "I used to have all of your albums."
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"Well, the secret's out," Ginger said. "Just don't tell anyone."
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"I just know Daniel's behind all this Kelly-Rich thing," said Adam.
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"I wonder if Rich is still... oh god, there's Rich."
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"Okaaay," said Adam. "Let me look up more info on Ginger."
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"According to Wikipedia, Ginger has been missing for a few years after Spice (Rack) Gals broke up."
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"Excellent! She also left her husband. Good enough for me!"
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"Hey guys," said Al. "Have you noticed that Yana's been really strange since she's been abducted?"
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"Yes!" said Ben. "We were just playing a few minutes ago."
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"And then out of nowhere she got really angry at me," added Ben.
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"And she started crying."
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"Something about how she feels unloved and ignored," he said. "I don't remember the rest."
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"Yeah," said Julie. "I think I heard her throwing up or something."
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"Yeah," said Kelly. "She's been complaining about headaches and morning sickness."
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"I heard her complaining about her boobs," said Adam. "They look fine to me!"
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"She's had this strange craving for lobster too," added Rich.
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"I saw her talking to Ginger," added Al.
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"You call this clean?? My tongue could do a better job at cleaning," screamed Yana.
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"Now that you mention it," said Daniel, "her boobs did seem unusually bigger."
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"Ohh, look at me! I'm Richard! I think I'm so great. I steal people's girlfriends."
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"Ohhh, look at me, Ben. I'm Daniel. My face looks like a big fat cup!"
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"Ohh, look at me. I'm Kelly. I'm just a big poo poo face."
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"What did you say about my face?" she asked.
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"Oh no," said Adam. "I just replaced you with a girl with a lot more SPICE than you."


"Oh no you don't," she said.
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"Let me just suddenly take off my top so I can fight you, JERK!"
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"You guys," said Yana. "I have to tell you something."
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"I'm with child," she said.
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"WHAAAA???"
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"HUH??????"
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"But how?" asked Julie. "I mean, are you really going to have this ... alien baby?"
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"Yes, of course," Yana said.
"I was told that I should receive a sign."
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"Oh wow," said Kelly. "A mysterious birth with ambiguous prophecies. Where have I heard that before??"
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"So you said the guest you fought with is coming over to talk things out?" asked Daniel.
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"Yeah," said Al. "He said that there are no hard feelings, or something."
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"Ugh, seriously," said Lord Xenu. "I have been 'holding' for the past hour."
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"MY PROBLEM?? I specifically asked for Yellow Sunflower drapes. Instead, I got these Phlegm Yellow rags."
"What?? No, I don't want my money back. I just want my drapes!!"
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"No, fuck you. I have someone on the other line."
*Beep*
"Hello? Why of course I'll come over."
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"No Al. There are no hard feelings."
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=================================================================

"Mirror mirror on the wall..."
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"Who's the evilest of them all??"
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"No one suspected that the new guy was actually Xenu! And now my vendetta with Al will not go unnoticed."
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MUAHAHAHAAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!
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To be continued...
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