If you're lost, here's the first part of this time-wasting machine.
Everything you are about to see has not been touched by me . Meaning, I'm not controlling the Sims in any way. They are doing everything with "free will." Like a reality show producer, I'm taking the pictures and reassembling it to make it look interesting. [edit, I lied. I did stage a few pictures so things would make more sense]
Also, please note that the action of the characters do not reflect that actual person. DUH!
Also, I just made things up as I played. So don't look for a "plot."
It was a typical day in the AANR household. Daniel made spaghetti and meat balls to celebrate atheism and satire.
Kelly was making some phallic foods.
And eating it in slow motion.
"Oh, she's so pretty," thought Rich.
"Too bad she and Adam have 'a thing,'" he said.
"Hum, but maybe I can help her change her mind," he thought.
"Oh Kelly," Richard said. "Can you come up here for a sec?"
Kelly thought, "what could he possibly want with me up he.."
"Well, I guess I should stay for a little while," she thought. "After all, he did invite me."
"No. This is wrong. I'm with Adam."
"Rich!" she said. "How could you! You know Adam and I have a thing!"
"Oh Daniel, thank you for this not-at-all-awkward hug! She pointed her finger at me and everything."
"There there," said Daniel. "I think I have a plan...."
"HE WHAT?" said Kelly.
"Yep," Rich responded. "Adam was totally coming on to me!"
"How could you Adam! Ughh, we so don't have a thing anymore!"
"But but..." said Adam.
"I don't want to hear it.! " *bitch slap'd*
"MUAHAHAHA," thought Rich while breaking the fourth wall.
"Oh, you are gonna pay for this," said Adam.
"You should've seen Al," said Yana. "He was like, *bam bam*."
"Maybe you should talk to the guy," said Daniel. "After all, he was just a guest, and your militant atheist ways got the better of you."
"You're right," said Al. "I'll invite him over to have a chat."
"Grrr. Now I'll just wait suspensefully for him to come over so I can teach him a lesson he'll never forget."
"Hey Kelly," said Richard. "So I was thinking we could go out on .. Oh good morning Julie's vagina."
"Oh, I don't care," said Yana. "I just want to have a looksee at this thing here."
"Is that what I think it is?...."
Ben ran inside, "You guys! Come out here, quick! Yana's gone. She was looking at the telescope, and then *poof*, she was gone!"
"OH NOEZ!" the group said, collectively.
"Who could be at the door at this hour?"
"I'll get it," said Ben.
"Oh hi. I'm new here," she said. "I'm was just walking around to ask where there's a good place for a single girl to go out."
"Oh, I can show you a good time," said Ben. "How about I pick you up tomorrow for some good eating?"
"Sounds good," she said. "The name's Joanna, by the way."
"Oh man," said Rich. "Kelly is so hot. She makes me melt with ...Other people's god, it's really hot."
"Oh, my hero!" said Julie to the heroic fire-fighter.
"Ohh, I can't wait to see him again!"
"Cheers," said Daniel. "For Julie finding someone. And for Rich .... for not burning down the house."
"Let's all rush outside to see what's going on!"
"Oh look, Yana's back."
"Seriously guys, I think I saw a spaceship."
"Yes," said Yana. "I have returned from a spaceship. But now I need a very cliff-hangery rest."
"Goddamn it," said Ben. "I really miss my bike. Do I even know how to drive a car?"
"We're here, Joanna! I think you'll love this place," said Ben.
SMALL TALK SMALL TALK SMALL TALK
"Wow, I'm glad I got to know you so well, Ben. I never knew you could do that with a cucumber."
"But there's something you have to know about me," she said.
"I'm not from this world."
"Er.. what I mean is, I'm a Christian."
"Uh, we'll we can work something out," he said. "It's not a big deal."
So they fed each other.
"Oh wow, she said. "I had a lot of fun tonight."
"I'll see you later," she said. "I'll come by your place to drop something off."
"Oh hey," said Al. "Aren't you Ben's... oh okay, bye then."
"A telescope?? What a strange gift."
"Too too doo doo dooo. Time for cereal," said Daniel.
"I'm just going to pour this in... "
"You guys, isn't this the girl Ben's going out with??"
"Her picture's here in the milk carton. It says, she's wanted for identity theft."
"Apparently her real name isn't Joanna. It's....."
"I have returned," she said.
"Excellent, Delta six-9. Or shall I address you by your earthly name.... JUDY JO."
"Oh, take off that hideous human skin. Lord Xenu commands you."
"Is that better?" said Judy Jo.
"Much," said Lord Xenu.
"Quick. We must slumber. Our plans to make Christians look foolish by posing as asinine Christians is hard work. Soon, everyone will be worshiping ME. MUAHAHAHAHA."
"Yes. Now to find more host bodies."
DUN DUN DUN!
What will happen to Al and the guest who he fought with?
Will Julie conjure up the courage to ask out the heroic firefighter?
What will happen to Kelly, Rich and Adam?
And what the heck happened to Yana?
No seriously guys. Your guess is as good as mine. I have no idea where I'm going with this.
Let me know if there are any embarrassing HTML fuck-ups.
Let me take you to part three.